Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
