I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
