at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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