get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
