I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
