U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize