eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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