You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
