Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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