Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Pants are for mortals
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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