I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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