she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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