do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
