dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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