are you still at the devil's house?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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