yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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