Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
