"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
