she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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