We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
