I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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