How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
