How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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