as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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