We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize