woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We need a shit load of segways right now
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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