When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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