Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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