i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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