that's an acceptable place to lick
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
This is my gift to your gina
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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