It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
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I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
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I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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