I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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