I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
