there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
