I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
