I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
