Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize