wake up i wanna do it froggy style
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
