the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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