dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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