can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
