He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
