Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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