Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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