so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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