She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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