bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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