just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
