Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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