i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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