Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
