i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
