And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
