Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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