Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize