Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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