Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She needs sedatives and a leash
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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