You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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