Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i've created a new STD.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Randomize
