I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
