Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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