when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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