im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
